Don’t use sex as a weapon – estranged man narrates how he lost sex desire with her wife

Don’t use sex as a weapon to punish your man, a man identified as @pw_wiseman on Twitter has taken time to express his marriage frustrations. The woman denied him sex whenever he was in need which resulted in him losing love for her. The sex desires with her disappeared, the man decided to just keep the jovial mood but avoid any conversation about sex. He even avoided touching her in bed. This went on for a while until the woman saw things are not working well, maybe he is cheating with another lady.

This led to separation eventually and divorce after one year. Here is the narration from the disturbed man;

“Denying a man sex is a big issue. I have an ex wife who did that to me. Alikuwa na excuses mob and made it seem like sleeping with me was doing me a favor. I have a policy that when we have an issue, we solve it na mwenye amekosea anasema pole and we move on. Yeye sasa she used to use sex as a weapon. When I thought tumemaliza issue, napata kumbe bado hajaimaliza and any attempt to initiate sex was met by an excuse. I had legally married her and paid dowry so it seriously hurt. I got tired and swore to never ask for sex from her again.

I never cheated but kinda turned off that switch. Nikifika home, we had the normal family time and tukienda bed I just slept. After one week without touching her she started asking why I never initiated sex. I told her she could initiate too and because of pride, she didn’t. Kuongea tulikuwa tunaongea and the family life was okay but topic ya sex I avoided it. She became so suspicious and started accusing me of cheating. She said that because I had not been sleeping with her, I must be getting it elsewhere.

Don't use sex as a weapon - estranged man narrates how he lost sex desire with her wife

I rubbished the claim and I remember that night when we got to bed she started to touch me in an attempt to initiate sex. I didn’t respond. All my feelings for her had vanished and replaced by deep hatred. I remember I got so mad. I pushed her hand away forcefully that she looked at me shaking with fear. I guess she thought I was gonna hit her. I told her to never touch me again. The next weeks she was so eager to talk ati we solve the problem. I told her point blank that her habit of denying me sex had made me lose interest in her and that I never thought I could love her again. This broke her.

She asked both parents to intervene but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t forgive her and to be honest, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make love to her. The sexual attraction had gone. I could begin so well then after some minutes I couldn’t go on. She tried so hard to fix the marriage. She cried, apologized a million times and she lost weight juu ya stress. I was like “haiya, kumbe ulikuwa na haja na ndoa”. We separated and later divorced a year later. Ladies, you would rather find other conflict resolution skills rather than deny a man sex.

That’s like the only thing we marry you for. To a man, it hurts na the moment mwanaume amekutoa kwa roho that’s it. Some of you lost their men to other women and you started accusing other women for using witchcraft. To be honest, there is rarely witchcraft involved.”

What men are going through in their marriages, only God knows. What’s your take on this?

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